Helen Procell: In China

Crazy ass adventures with Paul-wall

Thu, 10 May 2012 10:31:00 -0600

So yesterday, I had a final in my Chinese-U.S relations class. I get out and treat myself to a tea ( after all, I DO deserve it) on my way home I see Paul-wall walking my way and he yells out to me.

Paul: Yo Helen What’re you doing?

Helen: Not much, just heading home..

Paul: Want to go to a concert tonight?

Helen: Probably… where’s it at?.. and who is it?

Paul: It’s in Hungjoe.. and they are called the Argies, they’re from Argentina

Helen: hmm. I don’t know, how much?

Paul: Like 70RMB for the train, and then 50 for the concert

So by this time… I’m thinking I can do it financially, but do I have the energy??? (since the night before I got MAYBE 3 hours of sleep)…

So I think it over and figured i’m only in China for a few more days. What better way to go out and live a little?!…

So I agree to the crazy ass trip, and we take off…

Mind you.. I just leave in what I had on that day. Which was a Miami Heat Jersey ( WADE all the way baby) my track pants and my hair is up!…

I rush back to my room, pick up some money and a copy of my passport and go.

We make our way to the train station, and we find out that they don’t have anymore seats…..

We find that there is another train station … but it’s hella far away. Paul think it’s too late, but I tell him since we don’t have anything better to do, we might as well try to beat the clock, and if we are able to make it, we’ll try it, and if not, we’ll turn around and go back home…

So we’re off to another part of Shanghai, and it’s far…. but somehow we arrive with 15 min’s to spare and luckily for us they have a train that’s about to leave… so we buy our tickets and get on the bullet train to Hungjoe.

It’s a hour ride and I’ve never been on a bullet train. It was cool to go 150-180 mph….

So i’ll continue my story telling with pictures..

Here we are. On the train and ready to go. We’re totally stoked.

yours truly.

Doing a little bit of baijiu…

Arrived safe and sound, and waiting for a taxi to take us to the venue.

We get there like 30 mins late… and we catch the last part of the show… there was a grand total of MAYBE 30 people…Paul and I; the only white people.

Here the night starts to settle in.. and we’re starting to get groady… but we’re taking pictures to record the evening… By this time; Paul is probably on beer number 2 or 3…

Paul rockin out.

So, Paul is starting to feel good, and he’s out there dancing around. Hopping and kickin his legs. Definitely enjoying himself. It’s the fastest i’ve ever seen him move, so i’m sitting back and enjoying the show, and playing ‘camera girl’. I snap this PRICELESS shot; i’m laughing now just looking at it…. this photo just makes me LOL…

Beer number 4ishhhh

This random Chinese man… (Lets call him Wang)… kept taking photos with me on his phone… he was beyond drunk….. he was rocking out pretty hard. So here is his money shot. The funny thing about this.. ( and i think i was the only one to see this) Was Mr. Wang was drinking a beer, and apparently he had enough and decided to go home. He stands up. ( Clearly has a half a bottle of beer left)… takes a sip as he’s trying to stumble out, decides he doesnt want the beer anymore, and CHUCKS the bottle out right in front of him… no trash can, no setting it on the table like a normal person.. he just throws it out to the side of him, and I watch the beer bottle go FLYING through the air and just hit the floor… I was so astonished I busted out laughing, and almost pee’d my pants… and Mr. Wang called it a night and went home.

Long story short… we’re at this cool venue. And there are Pictures everywhere, and I’m letting Paul party with the members of the band, and I see this license plate hanging on the wall and I want it ..I smoothly walk over and rip it off the wall, and decide it’s coming home with me…. to America where it belongs…. so here is a picture of me, with my new license plate next to a cardboard cutout.

We party at that venue till 3 AM.. Paul and I don’t have crap to do… so we have to walk the streets of Hungjoe and kill some time….. Paul is about 10 beers deep, and is trying to talk to every chinese person we walk by…. So as Paul is telling everyone he Loves them, i’m trying to convince him to find some sweet chromies with me..

Around 3:30 AM we find some sweet statues to molest.

We’re out walking around… I find a garbage bicycle, and decided to TRY to ride it… wasnt working out..

Hungjoe is known for it’s beautiful lake that’s HUGE…. to drive around it; takes hours… this is the photo we got of the lake….iit’s FINALLY around 5AM, and we decided to make our way to the train station to go buy tickets home

We buy our tickets, and we’re waiting for the train to bored… we have about 30 minutes to wait, and we’re slowly fading away…… I tell him to stay awake, because we can’t both afford to fall asleep and not make the train… so I thought in order to stay awake we could re-view the photos we took of the night and have a small re-cap… we totally did, and ended up laughing our butts off, which kept us awake… Here is what we looked like at 5:45AM

So we get on the train…. we find our seat, and in a matter of seconds we’re both out COLD… we sleep the entire train ride and wake up in Shanghai.

We still had to take the Metro back home; which in total was 15 stops away and a line transfer… Our bodies are running low… we’re walking at the speed of a rollie pollie and the last thing I want to do is deal with china…. but you gotta do what ya gotta do..

This is US on the metro ride back to the dorms…. Paul looks like he’s infected with the Zombie apocalypse. As we’re sitting there.. I look over and see paul with his two pink eye’d eyes just starring off into ‘no mans land’ zoning out like a champ, and I use all the energy I have and bust out laughing… I am laughing so hard I can’t control myself. So naturally; when Paul asks me WHY all of a sudden i’m laughing; I can’t explain it, because i’m too busy laughing… and it’s a tired laugh ( you know those laughs when it’s nothing but delirious)… eventually I compose myself and explain WHY im laughing and we both enjoy a good laugh, and agree that Paul looks like Death…..

And finally… here is the morning traffic in China on Line 1 of the Metro… it was a sea of asians.

We got back home around 8 am… I skype my friend Cameron to tell him what the HELL I just did… and was then able to fit in a small 2 hour nap, before I had to get up and take my last semester final here in china!….

There you have it… my crazy random adventure with Paul… we are alive and well… and to be honest…. I’m not even tired… I havent taken a nap since the small 2 hour nap earlier today……

Crazy stufff!

Action packed Sunday. With Nick V.

Sun, 06 May 2012 06:25:06 -0600

So it took a while to get going today, but Nick and I ventured out to a shopping center; because we wanted these really cool, yet really basic watches.

As we’re shopping we’re doin’ our thing, and bargaining. We find some crazy cool colored watches, find us some sun glasses and just looking around for some random things.

We come to a jersey shop; and we’re looking at all the teams. ( Nick knows his sports… very educated on it all) So he’s helping me pick out a good team in my size… and we’re talking players…

So I go to try on a Manning Broncos jersey and a Wade Miami jersey and I asked Nick to hold my purse and I DONT KNOW what happened; but when it came time to talk ‘price’ I couldnt find my purse. So Nick and I stay calm and we’re looking through the pile of jerseys and some random chinese lady starts to get in my face… saying ” get out of my shop, you’re destroying it”… in reality we’re not…!… she gets in my face and by this time.. i’ve honestly have had enough, and the last thing I want is a Chinese lady in my face screaming at me, so I stand up straight and tell her nicely to back up and that we’re going to continue to look for it, becasue it didn’t just walk away… so by this time she’s in my face again telling me ” FUCK your face”…. and Nick is still searching and she goes over to him and tries to push him out…..

Truth be told Nick is a 6’6 solid dude, there is no way some 90lb china lady is gonna move him, so he’s trying to sho her off and finally finds my purse under all the jerseys…. and then we both look at each other, remain completely calm, look at the china lady and said ‘We’re ready to talk price’..

bahahaha!

I can’t wait to be home and not have to deal with the constant racism. I’m tired of dealing with people jacking up prices just because they see us walk in… a game of bowling shouldnt be 400RMB for us, but the menu for everyone else says 20RMB.. I’m tired of taxi drivers refusing to give us a ride because we’re foreign. Tired of the CRAP, poor quality and BS….

So from here on out we have been sticking it to China. This last weekend we got into a taxi and the driver decided to circle the block 3 times before heading to our destination to rack up the bill… When we came to a light and saw the street name we all said “SCREW YOU” and got outta the cab; while the guy was telling us to pay..We wern’t going to pay to be jerked around!.. Sorry China!

Avengers!! 3-D China style

Sun, 06 May 2012 05:47:00 -0600

Yeaaah you know it!

Nick, Dan, T-rell and I all went to see The Avengers.

I don’t know about ya’ll but that movie seemed SO long!… We ended up going pretty late, so having a full day in China really took it out of us we were all trying to keep our heads up towards the end… It was the “I’m so tired, but this is SUCH a action scene, I wanna keep my eyes open, but its TOO HARD. so I’ll keep ONE open”. LOL

In China when you go to a movie, you pick your seat at the ticket counter.. So it’s definitely a ‘game-changer’ from what I’m use to, but it’s kinda cool in a way.

Sneaking snacks into a chinese theater isn’t hard either. We loaded up my backpack with beer, oreos, gummies, and wassabi chips!…

It was a great time… especially looking to my left and seeing Terrells head cocked at a odd angel because he was passed the HECK out!

crazy weekend

Sun, 06 May 2012 05:22:26 -0600

Had probably one of the most fun weekends I’ve had here. It started off great with a restaurant called ‘Munchies’ where we all had peanut butter milk shakes (those were to die for) Had some amazing burgers… as we were sitting outside there were China men spraying the trees with bug spray with a giant hose and they had some automatic recording going off…. NONE of us can understand.. and they keep moving our way; as they stare at us, we all throw up our hands to see if they’re going to stop because we were eating outside… Well they didn’t.. so we all grab our food and run up 20 steps to get away from the (probably) harmful chemicals. UNBELIEVABLE CHINA!

We then went to Murals and for 100RMB it’s ALL YOU CAN DRINK.. so we spent 4 hours there… and I basically started the party. When we arrived it was kinda slow but as time rolled on more people begun to walk in…

The music was playing and granted the DJ wasn’t the best I got the feeling to dance, but NO ONE in the entire place was dancing…

So I stood up walked up to the stage, got on and just started to dace by myself.. in a matter of Minutes the WHOLE PLACE was dancing. It was kinda cool to start that!

After Murals we went to PHEBOIES. Holy heck we had Terrell off talking to random girls. Had Dan dancing with his chick, and then from where Nick and I were standing, we look out straight across the dance floor and there is JOE fist pumping his hardest all by himself. He was totally into it too!..

After partying ALLLLLL night till about 5 AM… we get in a cab to go home ( Nick, Terrell and I) and Nicks iphone fell outta his pocket… so he looses it in the cab ( we never see it again, it was a sad loss) and we walk into their apartment and SOMEONE left the sink running on the highest it could be ( we don’t know WHO did it)…. but we all walk in to a flooded apartment… 2-3 inches of water… Basically we could of swam!…

So there we all are.. it’s late, we’re not 100% and Nick shouts out… THROW EVERYTHING DRY ON THR FLOOR….

So we’re throwing blankets, shirts, pants, pillows, anything and everything dry to soak up this new ocean we’ve created….

Mopped and swept as much water as we could… we had to open the balcony doors, along with every window in the house to make the evaporation process move quicker…. I couldn’t tell you when we all fell asleep, but when we all woke up the water was gone.

I can’t wait to get back home and tell all my stories!!! This is the quick version, so brace yo-self people!.

6th picture down. Check out the two guys sitting two seats behind you. China Mafia???

Thu, 03 May 2012 21:14:50 -0600

yeah I see that… but he doesnt look anything like a ‘china man’ maybe another mafia!!!

Quick update

Mon, 30 Apr 2012 02:57:02 -0600

Ting Ting and I went out for din din last night, and we thought we got away scott free… but really we didnt… whatever we ate took us DOWN!…. we have been puking and all that good stuff… Prime example of China trying to take us out.

Sneaky China.!

I’m sure we’ll pull through though!

over and out!

Eating the World, one shrimp head at a time!

Sun, 29 Apr 2012 06:56:34 -0600

The group!

Chris-Ann+City Tour+xbox games

Sat, 28 Apr 2012 12:00:00 -0600

Nicks mama came into town. Friday we went on a city tour to the Pearl tower, walked around Shanghai drank at least 3 slurpees.

(Rode my first double decker bus)

The weather has been wonderful. Slightly humid though; starting to feel that ‘sticky’ feeling!

After the city tour we all went out to tapinaki. An all you can eat/drink joint; and it was the first time in 5 months where I had ‘actual’ beef. I can’t tell you how amazing that was.

We had pork chops, steak, tuna, salad, shrimp, muscles, veggies, and SO much more.

Nick, Dan, Joe, Terrel, and I kicked back 30 shots of Saki. Oh yes we did! WORD TO YOUR MOTHER!.

Then we ended our night at club MINT where it was Annies 21st birthday. Danced our skin off and sweat enough to fill a 12oz can… Kinda gnarly but it was a blast.

Mom had some HOTT moves. She was tearing up the dance floor.. gave China a thing or two to think about!…

Had a great day and even BETTER evening ;)

Then today, a group of us hit up the ‘Chinese X-BOX games’.

The turn out was relatively small, but it was nice to get out. get some sun and watch kids fall of their boards.

Foot massage/OR should I say: bruise rubber lady…. This...

Tue, 24 Apr 2012 10:25:00 -0600

Foot massage/OR should I say: bruise rubber lady…. This lady went to town on my BRUISE…. she kept smiling and laughing every time I showed an ounce of pain…. it really hurt, but I also didn’t know how to say ” Ummm can you PLEASEE NOT rub that giant ass bruise on my shin?… XIE XIE”!…

Why I love Dan and Nick…. we talk about some crazy...

Tue, 24 Apr 2012 03:18:30 -0600

Why I love Dan and Nick…. we talk about some crazy stuff… from Guilan!

Tai Chi class at its finest!

Tue, 24 Apr 2012 00:38:51 -0600

Tai Chi class at its finest!

Dan giving me his 20 year experience foot massage… while...

Mon, 23 Apr 2012 23:11:52 -0600

Dan giving me his 20 year experience foot massage… while Joe and Nick make a rocket…. just straight chillin with my guys!!!!

Tai Chi Class

Mon, 23 Apr 2012 23:06:00 -0600

This is how it goes down!

Nick making some MAD floor angels!

Ale and I listening to a song called ‘Helena’…...

Mon, 23 Apr 2012 23:03:03 -0600

Ale and I listening to a song called ‘Helena’… while in Tai Chi class, waiting to preform our skit!

Hey Helen!!! how have you been, so I heard you balled it up on the Basketball court the other day, that's pretty neat!! I bet your supper sore! like giving birth sore, ok maybe not that sore but pretty sore. well ttyl

Mon, 23 Apr 2012 20:30:00 -0600

Ayye yo!

Yeah totally ripped up the court yesterday with some China native… was totally having a great day. Making my shots, and taking it to the hoop like a straight baller, making all my crazy layups and amazing plays…!

But you’re totally right, I can’t move without being in some sort of pain

Russ being sassy!

Sun, 22 Apr 2012 02:24:00 -0600

woahh!

Something REALLY cool!!! Happy 4/20!

Thu, 19 Apr 2012 22:43:00 -0600

Something really cool is: Coming back from hanging out with the best people EVER.. ( so you’re in the best freakin mood ever) To ALSO come back home and walk past the front desk to see mail and see the coolest looking card in the stack; and looking at who it belongs to… and when it belongs to YOU… thats the best feeling/moment!!!! So cool!.

THANKS MOM!

HAPPY 4/20 Colorado….Love, China!

ps mizzzz youuuuuu

Thu, 19 Apr 2012 18:32:26 -0600

Heeellleeeennnieeee download whatsapp so u can tex me 4 freeeee yeah yeah yeah!!!

Thu, 19 Apr 2012 18:32:00 -0600

i totally have ittttt.. who is this?.. so i know WHO to texttttttttttt. oi

How our Tuesday was spent...

Tue, 17 Apr 2012 23:55:48 -0600